“Sometimes you Have to Take a Step Back to Make a Step Forward Together”

This road we are on can be a tough road, and definitely a lonely one when no support is around. And sometimes the pressure gets the best of us where we want to quit, to give up, to walk away. And honestly no one can blame you for doing so. It gets hard the funny looks, the judgment passed on you as if you were the one that committed the crime. The tough decisions you have to make like wanting to do nice things for yourself but knowing he needs that package ordered before the 27th.

Choosing to give up your freedoms like hanging out and doing girl things because of his insecurities. The constant need to always be strong because he shouldn’t detect that something is wrong because he has enough going on to keep his mind occupied and you don’t want to put that on him. Having to wear the bearer of bad news hat when family and friends promise they gon do stuff like send money and letters and they don’t. Or having to act like you calling these people just so he will know you are being submissive. But the worst is, if he has kids and his babymomma keeps the kids away because you two are involved. And that shit starts to mess with your mental having you to think in the back of your mind like what the hell did i get myself into?

So then you have to weigh the the pros and cons and if the good outweighs the bad you continue. But there are some times where the bad out weighs the good that is when you have to seek God and if he tells you its time to go you go. I had to walk away from Cody 3 times and I didn’t know if i was coming back. I left because i needed to be sure and that I could commit myself and be loyal again to someone in the inside, to put myself in the eyes of people of making the same mistake twice. To submit my kids to the prison letters, the calls and visits. To wait for the unknown and be ready to accept if it doesn’t work again.

I had to take the time to search my heart for answers my mind for motives and I realized I couldn’t live my life with regrets. I couldn’t help who I loved and I wasn’t going to live my life for others to avoid conflicts. I was going to do me and what made me happy and that was to stay and know when the world turns its back on me that if God is for us who can be against us?

I walked away to get some peace
to think things through
to be at ease

I walked away to find whats best
to clear my mind
and get things off my chest

I walked away because I was unsure
I wanted it to be real
Our love to be pure

I walked away because
I didnt want to be played again
to be sold a fairy tale dream
by someone i called my man

After talking to God
he gave me his peace
he gave me shoulder
so i could release

And to cast all my worries upon him
that i wore on my face
to give me the things i needed
which were his mercy and grace

He let me know then
not everyone is the same
even though they were both there
they didn’t play the same game

That my heart he had healed
so I could move one
from the pain and the hurt
that I held for so long

So on March 10th I vowed to stay
to never turn my back
to never stray
and to never ever again choose to walk away

Love clw

Lose to Win

Good evening. It’s Monday and it’s back to the work week. This week started off rough, kids were lat to school and I was almost an hour late to work(losing).
While making some time up this evening the song by Fantasia came on “lose to win” and I knew this would be the topic of today(winning).
How many of us have had to lose and never thought they would win again? I know I have before becoming a pw the first time. I was a young woman with goals and aspirations to be a lawyer but my first husband got locked up sentenced to 6 years. I was on my own with a new baby. Jaliah was 7 months at the time. I wanted to go to law school and find a great job because I was fresh outta college BS in Criminal Justice and he told me no school right now.
That they meaning him and my daughter needed me to find a job not a career so I went to work in the medical field. In hopes that I could just be there and make sure they were straight and when he came home I would be able to go back and try law school or relocate so I could find a better job in my field.
4 years and 8 months and God answered my prayers he was coming home early(winning). But that person that went in wasn’t the same person that came out and the marriage did not last(losing). And I gave up.
I became depressed because of the promises he made that we’re now broken. I guess some would say young and dumb but I was young and in love.
But my current handsome face was there waiting in the midst. Allowing me to make my mistakes and learn life lessons so I would be prepared to handle the life he was trying to offer me. He’s in prison u may say but that man motivates the hell out of me.
It was because he stressed school I went back and about to take my board test in January. It was because he knew my story and felt other women would appreciate hearing it that I wrote. He inspired me to do the blog, create the sight and spread the word. And I’m so thankful for him. My friend first my love and my inspiration (winning 🙌🙌🙌)

Just when you think you are at the end
And you can’t begin again.
Just dust yourself off sisters
Sometimes you have to take a loss to win again
💜clw

From a Kid’s Perspective

Good morning and Happy Sunday!!! Today I needed a little break but I wanted to introduce you to someone who wanted their voice to be heard, My 8 year old daughter Jaliah. So here she goes!

Hey kids that have dads in jail. MY dad and stepdad is in jail too. Don’t think your not special about it. That sad. I feel sad sometime. When I go and see him it feels like peace it feels like I have not seen him in years. I get to play card games and we go outside. How would you spend time with your dads? All you need to do is subscribe.Its easy and remember dont worry if people are gonna judge you about it. Just believe in yourself and know that your dad will be home soon.

love jas

You are not Alone

Welcome and thank you for entering my world. And since u clicked the link I might be right in assuming that this is your world too. And if that is correct then I’m ready for us to share this journey together. This was created as a place where you can come and release even if it’s 5 or 10 minutes out of your day. This is a place to let go of all the negative stigma that surrounds a “prison wife”. This is designed to let you know you are not alone on this journey n you will get through it. With the help of God I know u will get through it.
This page was created for those that have 2 weeks in jail ranging to those that have life without parole(lwop). This is for all women no matter what walk of life u come from. It’s the situation we are in that has brought us here together to share the common bond of hurt, anger, broken hearts and loneliness. I can’t wait to start this journey with you. Just counting down the days until our loved ones comes home.

You are not alone. Even when it feels that you are
But there are millions of women
like you.
Some are near while others are
far.
You are not alone.
Even when you are going through.
Because remember God made u a promise to never leave nor forsake you.
You are not alone.
Even when the world has turned their back on you.
Always remember you have your sisters here letting you know
You got this and WE GOT YOU.
💜clw